The Barge

I'd like to tell you about the day Dom and I moved a barge this Summer. Warning: contains mild peril.

Let’s start with a description of the boat in question. It is an old banger of the canals, the equivalent of a classic car that needs a lot of work, a 25 year old barge with an engine in need of an overhaul. When the engine starts a rhythmic chug chug chug greets your ears. Moving forward any faster than about the medium speed it does is combined with an emission of small clouds of black smoke from the back. Then there’s the noise. Dom and I thought “oh we’ll take a radio” but you wouldn’t have heard it over the din of the engine. Steering it was ok until we had to navigate moored barges and barges coming the other way. Bearing in mind that these are people’s retirement homes, there pride and joy, and then there’s us with a battered shed! Last thing we wanted to do was crash into them and put scratches down the side of their barges! We were doing alright until we got to a T-junction, then the fun started. We had to turn left and as we were going under a bridge that was on a corner a barge appeared coming the other way, queue reverse gear, then engine cuts out. Sprinkle in some expletives from me and Dom and a look of amusement from the guy driving the other barge and really that was the tone for the rest of the day!